THE BACHELORETTE EPISODE 5: CASE OF THE EX

Well, even with Chad being truly gone six minutes into this episode, there still wasn’t any shortage of drama. Who would have known?!

I have to say, that thing with Chad briefly returning didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Why did he come back? Clearly it wasn’t to apologize, despite Jordan giving him the floor to do so. I guess it was just to argue with the guys one last time. Save something for the Men Tell All!

Even though Chad Bear is officially dunzo, there’s a brand new “Bad Chad” to worry about. Turns out, JoJo has an ex-boyfriend who is also named Chad and he has now wormed his way into TWO of JoJo’s attempts to find love. If you recall, he messed with JoJo on her
hometown date on Ben’s season of The Bachelor. We’ll call him Tabloid Chad just to differentiate between the two Chads…

tabloid

Apparently, Tabloid Chad went to In Touch Weekly to claim JoJo didn’t have honest intentions as The Bachelorette. I feel her ex could be being opportunistic in gossiping to a tabloid about JoJo. However, it still worried her guys.

I had a similar BS article written about me when I was filming my season of The Bachelorette… and then many more after that. Unfortunately, it goes with the territory! (And it makes standing in the check out line at the grocery store hella awkward.) One time my dad called me from my small town Leduc, Alberta asking me if I was pregnant because he was getting groceries and that was on the cover of two magazines. He had no idea they were all BS so he seemed so upset and nervous. Poor dad!!! I reassured my family, and myself, that the headlines are always the same. The pictures just change with who’s in the spotlight. Like how many times has Jennifer Aniston been pregnant? I’ve lost count.

It sucks that not only are these magazines allowed to print such garbage, but also that JoJo had to deal with a petty/vindictive ex trying to bring her down when she’s already moved on.

Thankfully, the guys believed her when she explained the situation to them, but it’s brutal she was even put in that position in the first place. Some of those guys (her final guy or the next Bachelor) might be finding themselves the subject in those trashy mags soon too and
they’ll know firsthand just how frustrating it is.

I always wonder how gossip magazine writers sleep at night. They’re getting paid to try and bring others down. Shawn and I would be on cloud nine and read that we had already broken up. We turned down A LOT of money and a few crazy opportunities because we wanted to get to know each other and not be about the fame. Yet there were articles, some written by guys from my season, on how we were in it for the money.

Let’s get into the dates in Uruguay.

Was it just me or did some of the guys have trouble pronouncing Uruguay? I was having flashbacks to Chris’ season when we went to New Mexico and Megan didn’t realize we
weren’t in actual Mexico.

With both Chads finally out of the picture, it didn’t take long for some of the guys to find a new enemy (Derek) while others realized who their true threat seems to be (Jordan).

The first international one-on-one date went to Jordan, who had a little explaining to do himself. This part confused me a bit, but somehow, at some point, JoJo met a girl Jordan used to date (and she only realized this now?!). This girl did not have the most flattering
things to say about Jordan, so JoJo confronted him with that. Jordan did admit that he wasn’t a great boyfriend during a rollercoaster time in his life/career, but insisted he never cheated on his ex. JoJo believed him, end of conversation. Cue to street dancing.

Robby also had a one-on-one where he emerged as a serious contender by dropping the L-bomb on JoJo. I guess when you know, you know? This show IS dating on steroids. So I get it… In every day life you date someone, you possibly text them that night, but if you’re playing it cool, you wait. You maybe go on a few more dates, and talk about your every day life. On The Bachelorette, you talk about marriage right off the bat. You put all your cards on the table and you tell that person exactly how you feel. If Robby felt that in that moment, I’m proud of him for letting her know. Ballsy, yet vulnerable and honest.

As for the group date in Uruguay, it was completely focused on Derek feeling jealous, resulting in JoJo giving him the group date rose to reassure him. This, of course, did not sit well with certain guys. Mainly Alex.

Derek had the first date of the entire season, and it’s always difficult to go from having the first date to just watching everyone else get their dates/get close to the person you first felt a connection with while knowing your date was so long ago. So, I understand why JoJo wanted to reassure Derek that she still felt something for him. I don’t understand why anyone else made such a big deal over it, but I guess Alex can’t function unless he’s focused on another guy in the house.

So, before the rose ceremony, Derek called Alex, Chase, Robby and Jordan out, accusing those four of acting like a high school clique. That’s just asking for them to write about him in their burn book. Nothing really got resolved, but all five of them made it another week. Although, Derek will have to find his own seat on the next airplane ride because you just know Alex will say, “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!!”

We are down five guys this episode, which is exciting because that’s when we can really start to see the serious relationships flourish! At the beginning of the episode, back in Nemacolin, JoJo said goodbye to James F and our crazy Canadian, Daniel, who almost gave us as convincing of a speech about how good looking he is (as Ian did in my season campaigning to be the next Bachelor).

Then, by the end of the episode, Grant, an emotional Vinny and Evan were all eliminated, too. Poor Evan left with both a broken heart AND a ripped t-shirt. Tough bounce.

Hey, I’m starting to really think this IS the remake of Mean Girls:

  • Chase, Alex, Robby and Jordan are Regina, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady
  • Derek is Janice Ian
  • JoJo is Aaron Samuels
  • Chris Harrison is Ms. Norbury
  • James Taylor is Kevin G (sick beats)
  • Luke is Glen Coco (you go, Glen Coco!)
  • Wells, uhh, he doesn’t even go here
  • Evan is Damian, he wants his (pink) shirt back!!
  • And Chad is Amber D’Alessio, he made out with a hot dog

See ya next week!!

Love,

KB-signature

15 thoughts on “THE BACHELORETTE EPISODE 5: CASE OF THE EX

  1. Brittani says:

    I SOOOO dearly miss you being the Bachelorette!!! You are hysterical! I LOVE the mean girls plot!!! I am totally on board for that one 🙂

  2. Jacqueline says:

    You are hilarious! Love!

  3. Rita says:

    Pure gold!

  4. Megan says:

    Hahaha Boom!!!
    ❤️ This and you. Hope you and Shawn are doing well. You guys seem so down to earth. Enjoy life 🎉🍻

  5. Celine Kir says:

    Great post! I agree with most of your notes Kaitlyn, but I personally thought Jordan looked very nervous when confronted.. Everything he did was indicative of someone who is in the process of lying. Just my take on it.

    Happy that you and Shawn are happy 🙂 your snaps make me laugh aloud. looking forward to future posts.

  6. Sandi says:

    So funny, you go Glen Coco!

  7. Margaret says:

    Thanks for not just regurgitating the Coles Notes provided from the network like some other alumni have done and putting your own spin and original thought into it. You make me laugh and I appreciate you letting us into your life.

  8. Joyce Zahariades says:

    Another great post Kaitlyn! I love hearing from someone who had “been there”. Plus you totally CRACK ME UP!

  9. Michelle says:

    You go Glen Coco, classic! Love your recaps. Keep em coming ..

  10. Beth says:

    Your Mean Girls character association is spot on! Hilarious!!
    I didnt know where’d you go with James Taylor – Kevin G is genius! Seriously LOLing over here! 😂😂

  11. Lauren says:

    Love this!! Too funny!! When are you and Shawn tying the knot? So excited for you two!! I love all of your snaps together.. adorable couple!!

  12. Jules says:

    hahahahaha aaaaaamazing!

  13. Kayleigh says:

    hahahahaha you’re just too funny!! the mean girls plot is too accurate hahahahaa.

  14. Lisa-Marie says:

    this is the best thing I’ve ever read!!! too funny!!

  15. Markie says:

    The whole JoJo Jordan thing is very suspicious

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