It’s safe to say, we all know who this season’s villain is. It’s definitely Brandon. Just kidding – who is that anyway?
This week’s episode kicked off with a firefighter-themed group date – and Daniel reminisced about the last time he pulled a hose like that (back home at his apartment). Okay, Daniel – that’s way too much info.
Can we extinguish him?
Wells struggled throughout the date, but hey, at least it earned him some extra time with JoJo (and a group date rose).
But it all came down to Grant and Luke in the firefighting challenge. They were on a mission to save JoJo from a building that, well, wasn’t on fire, but had fire burning next to it. Hey Luke, don’t feel too bad about losing to an ACTUAL FIREFIGHTER.
Meanwhile, Chad was back at the Bachelor mansion doing chin-ups using a suitcase (full of protein powder) as a weight belt. Resourceful. This set the theme for the rest of the episode. Last week it was all about the junk references, this week it was all about Chad, protein references, and then even more Chad. He didn’t play nice and refused to participate in group sing-a-longs about JoJo (and went for the meat platter instead). I’m guessing Chad regularly orders steak sandwiches, but swaps the toast for another steak, with a side of steak.
Derek and JoJo embarked on a one-on-one adventure date that led them to their destination. It was all based on the choices they made together. The first decision was: SKY or SEA – and they had to answer at the exact same time. They both chose ‘sky’ and ended up on a private plane. The second choice was: NORTH or SOUTH. They chose ‘north’ and the plane flew them to San Francisco. The final choice came down to Lombard Street or the Golden Gate Bridge. Obviously you gotta choose the GGB!
Then, they faced the most difficult question of all, “If you were a chick, who’s the one guy you would sleep with?” JOHN STAMOS. What? Did they just become best friends? Yup. (Whoops, no wait that was the movie Step Brothers).
At the end of the date, we learned that Derek was cheated on by his ex a few years ago. I bet that girlfriend is kicking herself now. He got a kiss and a rose – and I can’t help but wonder if JoJo took Ali’s advice to ignore the guys she likes the most (at least for the first couple of weeks).
Back at the mansion, the guys were still singing their one-word song: “J-JJJJ-Jo-Jo!” I’m not gonna lie, it needs work. Mix in some other lyrics. Of course, Daniel and Chad were outside bonding instead. Ugh, I smell a new bromance (and it smells like lunch meat).
The second group date was at ESPN with ‘Sports Nation’ turned ‘Bachelor Nation’. It included a series of short sports-themed games. Jordan was expected to do well in the competition, throwing in the fact that his brother is NFL quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. I’m guessing this will come up more than once.
Chad took offence to the date card, which read, “prove your love” – it caused a lot of drama on the date. A silly marriage proposal contest quickly turned into an awkward moment. Chad called JoJo “naggy” for wanting him to tell her what he “loves” about her. Shawn told me I was “naggy” once. (I kind of was). But ask him how well that went for him…
Then came the fake sports press conference. Again, Chad refused to “suck up” to JoJo or say what he “loves” about her, because he doesn’t know yet. Fair enough. It came out wrong, but it also seemed like JoJo found his (brutal) honesty refreshing. I’ve been in that position. Being a contestant and gushing over someone you barely know is hard – and you feel as though you’re acting. When you go on that show and tell yourself you’re going to be real – you want to stay true to yourself.
Later, Chad revealed that his mom died six months ago and that he’s been taking care of her little Maltese Yorkie ever since. You can’t fault JoJo for trying to find that softer side in Chad. We’re yet to find out if she will get more of that rarely seen side of him. One thing is for sure. He got a kiss.
It was James Taylor, one of the many James-es-es who got the group date rose, for writing JoJo a cute little song. There are too many guys named James here, though. We’ll call this one Humble McGee.
At the cocktail party, the guys realized Chad was missing. It turns out, he waited outside to greet JoJo with a glass of wine. This did not sit well with – well, mainly Alex. But when Alex, Jordan, and a few other silent spectators went to confront him, he was too busy in the kitchen stocking up on meat-on-a-stick.
(Can you blame him? Who doesn’t love samplers?)
Also, the catering that goes on in that kitchen is just magical. You barely eat because you’re busy doing interviews all day, and – it’s Chad. Gotta hit that calorie count. Maybe it’s bulking season? Who knows?
While some guys were busy worrying about Chad, Chase was outside making it snow. He didn’t get a date this week, so he decided to set up a mini date instead. That was smooth. Someone just secured his rose!
Finally, at the rose ceremony, three guys (who you never grew attached to anyway) were let go. Is it too early to start a James S the Bachelor Super Fan campaign? It’d be his dream come true.
Honestly, if Chad didn’t get a rose, there’d be nothing to talk about. The previews for the double episodes next week make you really want to watch. I remember keeping Tony and loving it. People thought I was nuts, but I was like, “oh man this guy is gonna make good TV”.
The episode ended with a bonus clip of Christian surprising JoJo with a bath in his tight little speedo. Yes, it’s what every woman dreams of – a bubble bath (with a guy she barely knows) who’s wearing a banana hammock and after she’s just spend 4 hours getting ready. I can think of a hot tub session with a third wheel eating chicken wings, which was less painful than that.
Who’s ready for the double episode on Monday and Tuesday next week!
Who stays? Who goes? Will they run out of meat? Nobody knows.