My Experience on the Bachelorette

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HELLO MONDAY!!! The day of the week I used to dread, and now embrace!

I used to dread Mondays. What will the episode’s look like? What will people judge me for? How many people would like me? How many would I piss off? It was an overwhelming amount of pressure, especially given the title of “the most controversial bachelorette”.

My most commonly asked question every single day is: how was my experience on The Bachelorette? In a nutshell, it was crazier, more stressful and more exciting than I could have ever imagined! I also hadn’t thought about the whole emotional roller coaster that would happen when we were done filming, and once the show was airing. I soon realized the power of editing, and the harsh realities of what I had signed up for by agreeing to be on a reality TV show quickly hit me.
Some days were great, and I had so much fun, globe-trotting with handsome guys, going on extravagant dates, feeling like I was in the driver seat, and calling the shots. Other days, I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t know how I would get through a group date with 10 guys, and some of them I knew I had no feelings for. Some days I was running on 1 hour sleep, a body full of booze, cramps and zits. Definitely not the ideal combo to feeling my best– and on national TV at that! No matter how I felt though, the show had to go on, and I would have to lead the date with smiles and full energy. Every hour of sleep counted to recharge my batteries, and I would pray my adrenaline would kick in, yet again. Having a connection with Shawn early on kept me excited about moving on, and without him knowing, he built my confidence when I would need it most.

During my experience on the show, I was only surrounded by producers, and a group of guys who I wasn’t sure were actually falling in love with me, or just wanted to stay in the Bachelor mansion another week. At the same time, I wasn’t sure if I was falling in love with them either, or if it was the romantic setting and the idea that I was falling for.

On Chris Soules’ season of the Bachelor, the producers became my family. Not having a phone, the internet, friends, and family became so lonely. I confided and trusted producers and cast–it quickly became my new reality, sometimes forgetting we were filming a TV show.

This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience, and I don’t use the term ONCE loosely. I couldn’t do it again. One, because I found the love of my life, but secondly, I don’t think I could physically and emotionally do it again.

A total candid moment that I’ll share with you guys… I lost hair… I woke up with 2 bald spots due to stress. I would watch wrinkles form on my face, and I could just feel my body and mind breaking down. The only thing keeping me going, was knowing that this was such a unique and crazy opportunity and that this would all be worth while if I found my guy throughout this process.

I love our story, and I’m excited to tell our kids one day that Shawn and I met on The Bachelorette. I’ve met amazing people because of the show and I learned a lot about myself.

Who would have ever thought that going on a TV show would be the most difficult thing I’ve done to date, but also the most rewarding?! Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. ***

Love,

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Photo Credit | Karolina Turek

63 thoughts on “My Experience on the Bachelorette

  1. Brittney says:

    your amazing Kaitlyn! I can’t imagine going through what you did to find love, so glad to found Shawn! I hope your blessed with true love forever!

  2. Sophie says:

    Happy for you and Shawn. For the final product to be good diamond it had to go through the furnace. It was worth I after all. I miss you on Mondays. Thank goodness for youtube where I watch only yo and Shawn’s episode. All the best.

  3. Caitlyn says:

    I miss watching on Monday’s!! Very happy for you and Shawn <3 I met you in Vancouver at the WC game and you two were the sweetest!

  4. Amanda says:

    You are by far my most favorite bachlorette. You are such an inspiration on how strong a women should be. Keep on smiling.

  5. Heidi says:

    I’m so glad that u and Shawn are happy. You guys make such a cute couple. Do you thing that u 2 would ever do a reality show after you guys got married? I think it would be awesome, I follow u on snap chat and u guys make me laugh all the time. Wish u luck and can’t wait to see the wedding.

  6. Casey says:

    I just couldn’t be happier for you:) I have to say…I love my husband so so hard and for whatever reason…I get the feeling through the ways and things you write about Shawn, that you’re feeling the same too:). I hope so many amazing ghings for the both of you:)

  7. brittany says:

    Kaitlyn, you are a strong girl. Check out my kindness campaign. I think you would love it. It’s for girls to be nice to other girls. Funds go to stop bullying.

    http://www.keepcollective.com/with/Brittany Thomas

    please let me know if I can help you design a bracelet at a discounted rate 🙂

    Hold your head high

  8. Lauren says:

    So incredibly happy for you! It’s upsetting hearing how much distress it caused you throughout the process, but very glad it was worth it. Best wishes to you both! <3

  9. Jessica says:

    Stay happy pretty bird

  10. Diane says:

    Sorry you went thru that,could see your stress and caring for people. I was holding my breath thinking pick Shawn.when I seen nick pull up first I could breath. Happy for you both. You took this very serious.loved you as bachelorette.After watching it I’m SURE you seen the comments made by nick weren’t true,I was omg please let her know. You picked a MAN,looked at your family eye to eye and was great when he got both your parents to ask for their blessing.Love your family.can’t wait for the wedding.know you will make a gorgeous bride.say I love you every day. I lost my son ,so it’s very important.GOD bless you both.

  11. Jen says:

    You inspired a nation of women and girls to stay true to themselves, rise above negativity, and follow their gut. I think (hope) most people who watch the show know it’s padded with ridiculous editing to create drama, but even with everything against you, you still came out looking strong, proud, happy, smart, compassionate, bold, and funny. I’m so sorry you had to go through everything you went through; no one deserves it. As a casual viewer I felt sick reading about the type of abuse thrown your way, and it made me want to support you more. By standing up for you, I felt like I was standing up for myself. You probably will never know the amount of people you have reached, and for that I have to say thank you. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

  12. Markie says:

    It’s funny to me that people ask that. I seriously see every emotion and struggle you went through. It looked so hard and you did amazing. You are so real and beautiful so happy for you and Shawn your snap chats are very enjoyable!!!!! Xoxo

  13. Michelle says:

    Ever since the first night I knew that Shawn would be the one! (And if he wasn’t I was going to steal him) totally kidding..I hope you two a lifetime of happiness because you truly deserve it. If I could be half as strong, confident, and straight-forward as you..I would have no problems from here on out. You two were made for each other and seeing your snaps make my day. I’ve been rooting for you since day one and I’ll continue! I’m from Iowa and if you ended up with Chris we could have been BFFs but it’s all good because you and Shawn are clearly soul mates. Wishing you many years of happiness and love! You’re awesome, Kaitlyn. Don’t ever change!

  14. Kate says:

    I can’t even begin to imagine what this experience was like for you. I’m so glad you had friends to lean on during the process and that you stuck with it 🙂 I am beyond excited for you and Shawn – honestly. You guys get it. You get what committing and loving each other is. I see the qualities Shawn has for an amazing husband. The way he holds himself and his selflessness – often reminds me of my husband 🙂 You guys together are so contagious! All the best to you both xoxo

  15. Lynnette says:

    Hey Kaitlyn … First of happy for you and Shawn. But as I was reading your most recent blog post and noticed you mention “bald spots” I immediately felt a connection. I went to a recent hair appointment and my hair dresser told me I had Alopecia. Went sweet Jesus I lost bawled my eyes out. I thought it was it … Done. Over. Why the hell am I losing my hair. Like you I too had stress, however I wasn’t on a TV show with 25 men vying for me love and attention. But I hope now that with your life with Shawn moving forward that your stress is a lot less. And you no longer get any more bald spots. Bottom line is your beautiful no matter what. I look forward to reading future post and most importantly wish you both a lifetime of happiness. Btw … my husband and I recently spent a week in Vancouver (my first time .. not my last) and I fell in love 🙂

  16. Betty says:

    Kaitlyn, I’m sorry about the stress you went through, but can tell you after 14 years to the man I married at 38, waiting for the right man is worth it. I pray that God gives you the love for Shawn that he has for both of you. Being married is work, but grows deeper the more you put into your relationship. God Bess You two, a lifetime of happiness.

  17. Lynn says:

    Love that “sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”

  18. Kim says:

    I couldn’t imagine going through all of that and the stress that came with it, but it’s so obvious it was all worth it. You and Shawn seriously look so happy and in love. I wish you guys the best!!
    -XOXO Kim!

  19. Pat says:

    I am truly happy for you and Shaw god bless you both
    Most of all please keep doing what you are doing and keeping your fans up to date with your journey
    sweetie please keep your Ring on as much as you can because we know were that will go LOL 🙂

  20. Loressa says:

    Just an FYI – your comment section is all wonky. I help make websites for a living, so I thought you should know to tell your website dev team to fix some of your code in the comment section.

    P.S. I think you are an amazing person & was happy to watch you every Monday night. Happy dance that you found an awesome dude to kick it with!

  21. Sherri says:

    Yes, take this time to reflect and be good to yourself. You know your limits and you have one body. I quit my job due to stress and hair loss. I have my beautiful hair back and you will too. you need to keep your lady eggs healthy for your future children with Shawn.

  22. Sara says:

    Thank you for your honesty and willingness to be open about such deep and private things that most of us really wanted to know about! Thanks for being you.

  23. Christina says:

    So happy for you and your boo! We didn’t noticed your balding or newly formed wrinkles! Even though you had the title “most controversial bachelorette” but you were my favorite because you were the most real! So sorry it caused sooooo much stress on you, but so glad you found your Prince Charming! ❤️

  24. Asia says:

    You guys are nuggets. 🙂

  25. Mckenzie says:

    you have been my most favorite bachelorette so far! I am so incredibly happy for you and shawn! You two give me hope for love! My boyfriend actually watched your season with me and he even knew that shawn was the one for you 😉 I wish you two nothing but the best and I am so happy that this experience worked out for you! You deserve it. xx

  26. Jill says:

    Kaitlyn, you are the most real human being that has ever been the bachelorette. You should be nothing but proud of yourself! The producers tried hard to twist the footage and make you look bad but I think you came out still a class act at the end of it all. I love that you’re from vancouver! You repped hard. All the best to you both. Hope to see you around!

  27. Sandy says:

    I figured a ton of what showed this season was editing and producing. So glad you fell in love with Shawn. With all of the editing and production.. It was still obvious to me that he was REALLY head over heals for you. His body language was all so genuine. I really felt bad for him at times because although it was obvious to me that you felt the same way.. You couldn’t ruin the show but letting him really know for sure. I’m just glad it all worked out for you two. Keep working at your relationship. I’ve been married 34 years and we only met 6 months before.. So I know that it takes work , but also that it’s possible to love one another for ever meeting and falling quickly.. You just really have to make your love come first! Good luck you two lovebirds!

  28. Marisa says:

    I’m a fan of yours Kaitlyn (and Shawn too) and have been since watching you on Chris’s season. I was so mad when he sent you home, because you are an amazing woman who is honest and so comfortable with herself! Definitely someone I admire, and aspire to be like.
    Of course, now I’m happy that Chris didn’t pick you because you and Shawn were made for each other. My sister and I watched your entire season and she totally called it from episode 1!
    Anyways , I’m sure you already know this, but you shouldn’t worry about what people thought of you based on what they saw/read through the media. The ones who truly matter know you are all around amazing and a beautiful soul!!!
    Much love from Oregon <3

  29. Becky says:

    Yes it was controversial because of your early overnight with “the other guy” but my goodness all of that seems like nothing compared to the scene on BIP with Sammi & Joe. Now that was degrading to women! She showed no regret or shame afterwards.

  30. Steve says:

    You are so beautiful Kaitlyn !!! I’m also from BC Kamloops to be exact 🙂 and seeing you just reminds me what amazing people we have in this beautiful province !! PS if this relationship ever goes in the pooper let me know lol … Yes that was a joke unless plowing your field is still an option LMFAO … Cheers and Congrats PSS Nick was definitely not good for you so good choice on Shawn

  31. Arlamay says:

    Was cool to catch your and Shawn’s connection from the beginning… you both amazed me and did my heart good for what you went through together… live long and in love always. .. grace under fire=Kaitlyn

  32. Amber says:

    True love always wins and you stayed true to yourself! Keep it real & stay classy the media doesn’t have a clue!

  33. Mel says:

    This by far is not the norm for me- I usually don’t comment on things like this… I never watched a season of the Bachelorette before you or Bachelor for that matter – Chris’ season was my first. But I think that what you portrayed on the show is no different from what dating in the real world must be ( I’ve been off market for 23+yrs!). It was just crunched in a few weeks….very happy to see you so bubbly and happy. There is a wonderful chemistry and real love between you two that without the tears and stress that both of you had to endure, wouldn’t be as special. There’s something to be said about the struggles that we face…they’re not in vain. Enjoy, don’t change and be the happiest you know how to be.

  34. Dee says:

    So happy for you and Shawn…this has been my favourite season of the bachelorette ever….wishing you both a lifetime of love and happiness 🙂

  35. Katherine says:

    I am thrilled you picked Shawn. Glad he also made the choice to stick it out “because you are worth it”. This relationship is worth it!! A friend wanted me to date a guy but at that time I said, “I just want some me time”, but then 6 months later I picked the same guy on a country music “blind Date Contest” It is true, sometimes in this crazy life you are right where you are suppose to be. Cheesy contest, I know, but driving down the road, I called, we have been married over 20 years. You guys have us kissing more!!!!! Added some of the giddiness back to OUR Crazy Life. Thank you! P.S I am okay with the adds, I have 2 daughters & sweet little boy Peter! Always looking for good products for them. “Thanks mom” advice (easy with the booze, LOL!)

  36. Sydney says:

    First off I would like to tell u that I’m 12, and u probably would take this as serious as the other comments but I’m am going to go for it! Reading about your experience on the Bachelorette was amazing, because if your only getting a couple hours of sleep, getting extremely rude feedback from your Monday night shows, and have to make hard decisions to send somebody home that night. That is a role model for me because u still smiled 95% of the time on TV! I wish you and Shawn a happy life together! ❤️, Sydney

  37. Ashley says:

    You are such a beautiful person…outside and in! Shawn seems to be a great man and you both deserve happiness! 🙂 So glad you made it through the season and came out in love…probably came out stronger too! So many people look up to you both. Please try to ignore the haters!! They’re just extremely jealous of such a beautiful couple 🙂

  38. Nathaly Acuna says:

    Kaitlyn,

    I’m literally obsessed with you and Shawn together… Freakin cutest ever!!
    Iv debated going on the Bachelor myself, so I completely look up to you and your bravery to stand proud regardless of any negativity that has been thrown your way through this process.
    You stayed true to who you are and stood behind everything you did, which is something most people wouldn’t haven taken ownership of (because imperfections of a REAL person shouldn’t be shown right? Piiiish).
    Cheers to you guys && sticking it out for eachother, congratulations on an exciting new journey together!
    Xoxo Nat

  39. Lori says:

    First let me say that I am so happy for you and Shawn, you definitely made the right choice for you. You were are great representative of a Canadian gal. Strong, funny and honest.
    Watching your season was intense so I cannot even imagine living it! I would think that when Mondays rolled around you almost dreaded them, its the cyber bullying on twitter that was so brutal! Glad you had/have great support around you. THE best revenge is happiness in your life, the bullies cannot stand it ,I am sure, to know that they were wrong. HA
    Wish you and Shawn nothing but the best (and many babies) 😉

  40. Katrin says:

    You are truly the best Bachelorette ever!! Thank you for being true to yourself. So happy for you and Shawn. Lots of love :))))

  41. Lizzie says:

    Kaitlyn,
    The whole time i was watching the show i was thinking about how you must be feeling and the bias that editing create, no matter how well they do it. I feel so sorry for you that people were so awful to you. Karma is a bitch.
    My ultimate favorite part is that you followed your heart. You didn’t care if you were stepping on the other guy’s toes. You stayed focused and ultimately found the love of your life! You are my favorite bachelorette of all time for your humor, your light, your energy, and your ability to stay REAL and TRUE TO YOURSELF (yes, I said that Ian, ya honkey donk)! Much love to you and Shawn and your future babies. Lizzie

  42. Anne says:

    In the past I enjoyed watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. The fairytale dates were romantic and the participants became friends and enjoyed world travel. I prefer participants over contestants since the “prize” isn’t a car but the chance at a relationship. Now, I realize the producers create an interesting show by editing. If the producers want to create a villain, they do. If they want a good guy, they edit out his bad
    behavior or unkind words. Bachelor in Paradise is the worst Bachelor show ever created. The participants know who to expect and they cozy up to anyone so they get a rose until their dream date shows up. Even worse, they use editing to humiliate. Clare calls home and the producers gave a raccoon a show so it appears Clare is talking to a raccoon. Why does Clare continue to let the Bachelor Nation humiliate her? Clare, you are a beautiful woman. Forget reality tv and live your life. You will meet a nice man. If not, enjoy your life socializing with family and friends doing things you enjoy.
    Ratings for The Bachelor are going down. Let’s all stop watching.

  43. Laura says:

    Love you two! I’d say good luck, but you don’t need it. You’re the perfect match.

  44. Kristy says:

    I am glad you shared your thoughts about being the bachelorette. I think oftentimes we forget that the people in reality shows are indeed just that, not just “characters.” I have grown to be quite the fan of yours! Keep it up Kaitlyn. Xo

  45. Ellen says:

    Loved you as the Bachelorette and was rooting for you the whole time. So glad you found love with Shawn and I love following you two on Snapchat. Quick question… Do you guys ever actually eat on the dates? They never show food being eaten and it looks like you often leave the table with a full plate sitting there! Would love the insider info on this random observation. 🙂 thanks!!

  46. Debra Nash says:

    Katilyn you and Shawn deserve your happy ending…I love the show and you gave it 150 percent I enjoyed watching you and Shawn’s love story. He was truly there for you. Put each other first and make it work. Your families are great so you will both will have great in-laws….Thanks for letting us know of your experience on the show take care and give Shawn a BIG-Kiss from one of your biggest fans.

  47. Sometimes the hardest things in life are the most rewarding!

  48. Anne says:

    Thank you for being so honest. You did not owe us one word of your private thoughts, but because of it, we can all relate to you on some level. Obviously, we know you’re human and like everyone, we go through highs and lows that is life. Unfortunately, the haters out there who can’t or refuse to find any humanity in you continue to struggle because TV is the great divide.

    Thank you again for being transparent and real. Enjoy the rest of your time in your hometown of Vancouverguys! I miss it!

  49. Candace says:

    Ugh you are just such a beautiful person and more genuine than I could have ever imagined. I was stressed every episode for you but I can’t imagine how you felt. This might be too personal, but like how do you feel now about that night you had with Nick? I mean in the moment you had such strong feelings for him but they just kinda dissolved even though you seemed to have a more passionate relationship with Nick. I’m not accussing you or anything I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. Thank you so much for reaching out to the fans and Bachelor Nation. much much love <3333

    p.s. your and shawns snapchats give me life. thankyou.

  50. Sherri says:

    I am a lover for sure girl!! Thanks for keeping it real! Had my weeks where I was like Kaitlyn NO lol!! So happy both you and Shawn stuck it out! Totally saw the connection and was praying when it got to the final two you would choose Shawn! That is real baby!! On another note how about Jared for next bahelor?? Class act that one is!!

  51. Susan says:

    Your fabulous!! If being controversial is being TRUE to yourself then so be it. You found what you came for and that is exactly why is because you were honest and of course all the other great qualities that you have. Good luck Kaitlyn, I already miss Monday’s with you. 🙂

  52. Minau says:

    Great post!!! You and Shawn are awesome together!

  53. Mindy says:

    Kaitlyn, watching you on the show made me proud to be Canadian. You are awesome. And Shawn, I mean, come on… obviously! That hair! That voice! That smile! So happy for you two and wish you both all the best.

  54. Annika says:

    My favorite Bachelorette! So happy for You & Shawn! Was rooting for you two!!!

  55. Melissa says:

    Dear Kaitlyn,
    You’re so sweet to talk about how difficult the show was for you during and after filming. I was having such a hard time watching it, that I can’t imagine what you must have been feeling. I was a fan of Shawn from the first night, and my heart was breaking for him because the whole season was like déjà vu for me after watching a dating show called “Sweet Home Alabama” on CMT.

    On that show, Paige fell in love with Jeremiah immediately. Their connection was so obvious and everything was going great until she told him she was in love with him halfway through the season. Suddenly the world stopped (good) and then fell off its axis (bad). He was suddenly terrified of losing her by the end of the show AND he was having a terrible time expressing himself in front of producers, lighting people, sound people, etc. It pushed him so far over the edge that he came to blows with one of his best friends in the house. It was a mess….not to mention Paige and Jeremiah later admitted how much TPTB took advantage of the situation and played on their insecurities by using alcohol, lies, manipulation, and awful editing. Needless to say, Jeremiah was hammered on SM by bullies saying he was an angry, jealous guy who was going to abuse Paige, etc. When in reality, he was a sweet, hard-working country guy who found the show to be challenging in ways he never imagined. (And he didn’t even have to deal with someone new coming in mid-season! Yikes!)

    My heart was breaking for Shawn, and I nearly wanted to stop watching. And then…I saw your body language when you were sitting on the couch with both guys when they came to meet your family. The difference was startling. Your arm was wrapped around Shawn’s and your hand was between his…and you couldn’t have been any closer to him unless you were in his lap. Suddenly I had hope…I was excited. And then I felt dread because I knew that watching the sausage being made and aired on TV was going to be hell for both of you. What a roller coaster! Whew! I know making a different decision in NYC would have made your experience during filming AND airing much easier, but as Shawn said “Things happen for a reason.” I’m just happy that you both seem so happy now. Blessings and hugs to both of you.

  56. hillary says:

    I loved you on the show! You seem like such a beautiful person, inside and out. I can only imagine how hard it was at first hearing all of the horrible and cruel comments people have made about you. Good for you for ignoring them, you know who you are as a person. You are a Wonderful role model for women everywhere with your positive outlook on life and healthy lifestyle. Stay blessed!

  57. Mel says:

    A reality show about you two would be awesome but hopefully it would strain on you. Though the idea is great. I would watch and I actually can’t stand reality shows, not all but most. You both are humble, genuine people

  58. Mel says:

    Oops. I meant above that hopefully it won’t put a strain on you both but maybe consider it! We love your adventures. There doesn’t have to be drama. We watch your happiness!

  59. Dorothy says:

    I am a mother of 4, two are 18 and 20 year old women. I can’t imagine your thoughts or reactions to social media after doing the show. Society is not kind. You are an amazingly strong woman to spin the hateful comments into a lesson about bullying. I don’t even know you.. but I am proud of you. We need more examples like this that shows how life can be hard, BUT it can be dealt with and learned from. We teach our kids to be strong, independent, and Christians. BUT mostly we tell them to live life and love life and watch out because LOVE comes in all shapes, sizes and situations. Be ready for it and enjoy it! Wishing you the best.

  60. Krystal says:

    I’m not going to lie, originally I was Team Britt, but after watching you throughout the season I realized that the right bachelorette was definitely picked! After getting so consumed in a show and watching it routinely you begin to feel like you know the people, and now Monday’s are just not the same! Best of luck to you and Shawn now and always! ❤️

  61. Ashlyn says:

    I am so happy for you and Shawn! You two are too cute! I can’t even imagine having to date 25 guys, and dating them all behind multiple cameras, for the entire world to see. Did you do anything to handle all the stress you had to go through? I am so sorry you had to go through everything that you went through, but you were so strong and made it through. I know it was definitely all worth it. Congratulations!

  62. Deanna says:

    I just watched the last date with you and Shawn…awkward to say the least; nevertheless I was always team Shawn because he wore his heart on his sleeve. He reminds me on my “boo”, genuine, steadfast, loyal and love of family. Please don’t take his love for granted, but respect him and he will give you the world; take care of yourself and each other, stay in good health for those baby years ahead…some cute babies…can’t wait. Be yourself and keep us posted. Love always….smiles.

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